Author Archives: thefeministcritic

I should be going to bed.  I have spent the last 2 days  at the Department of Justice’s Violence Against Women Training because I was lucky enough to win a grant for my university to fund victim/survivor services, education and training.  Woo Hoo!

In the midst of heading to wintery Virginia (yes, it is freezing here!), Patricia Arquette, winning a best supporting actress award, has been attacked by liberals, feminists, and others, for her comments off stage.  On stage, she spoke passionately about how wage equality is an overdue piece of the inequality puzzle, even in richy-rich Hollywood where women are paid much less than men, and even more so, as always for women of color.  Then, as everyone has seen in the mass media, she goes on to say that it is “time for us” and that “people think we have equal rights; we don’t. Until we pass a constitutional amendment, we won’t have anything changed. It’s time for all women in America and all the men who love women and all the gay people and people of color that we’ve all fought for to fight for us now.”

Before I comment on her quote and its backlash, it should be stated that I define myself as bisexual, white, female, middle class and feminist.  I am a survivor of sexual violence.    I serve on the Board of Directors of the YWCA of Southeastern Massachusetts whose mission is to “eliminate racism and empower women.”  Ending racism is part of my life’s work.  And in everything I do in my job, I am constantly striving, more so than ever, to call out and end racism and transphobia.  (Doing this at a university is hard and somewhat impossible work, especially when the powers that be think that people of color should be the ones explaining what the problem is and then fixing it themselves). I  live in the messiness that is intersectionality.

I didn’t watch the Oscars.  For one, I am on the fence about boycotting that elitist white patriarchal shit.  Two, I didn’t see any of those movies because I don’t have time.  (If I am going to watch acting,  I am going to see it live and support my local theater’s).  Three, I threw my husband a surprise 50th birthday party ,the night before, and we were just plain old tired.  I mean, God! He’s 50! We’re too old to stay up that late.

However, when I read her off stage quote, I honestly read that she was asking men (gay men and men of color) to help women out.  Not just white women, but all women.  And yes, using the term gay “people” and “people” of color was a miss-speak.  That’s all it was, I believe.  And maybe I believe this because I have white privilege.  Can we just breathe for a minute and not tear into a woman the minute she tries to have a voice?

Forbes crunched the 2013 numbers and showed that among the kind of lavishly compensated thespians who fill seats at the Oscars, men make way, way, way, way more than women. The men on Forbes’ list of top-paid actors for that year made 2½ times as much money as the top-paid actresses. That means that Hollywood’s best-compensated actresses made just 40 cents for every dollar that the best-compensated men made. No wonder Meryl Streep and J-Lo are pissed(http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2015/02/23/gender_wage_gap_in_hollywood_it_s_very_very_wide.html)

I’m sad that a woman spoke up about inequity and because she did not address the intersectionality of the inequity in her comments, using the terms “gay people” and “people of color,” feminists and liberals are branding her with a scarlet F for her flub.  But I’m more disappointed  that liberals are attacking other liberals for their lack of intersectionality in everything they say or do is becoming popular right now.  Coalition building is all we have to fight the never ending attacks by the right against issues like trans* friendly policies and law, reproductive rights, and violence against women  (“in a world where every three years the death toll of women murdered by their partners or former partners tops 9/11 casualties,” Solnit Men Explain Things to Me, 23).

A feminist colleague of mine wrote”

I have been so angry about these attacks on her that I had a hard time sleeping last night. I actually had someone say that white women should not speak because the inequality we face isn’t as bad as other segments of the population and we don’t know real discrimination. In other words, smile and shut up because what you have to say doesn’t matter. Because that is healthy. If only we fought for equality with the same fervor we fight each other. Sigh.

This is the problem with intersectionality.  We can only speak to OUR personal truths.  We can be allies to other people and fight passionately for their rights.  This all connects back to the boycott of The Vagina Monologues by Mt. Holyoke because they are now a trans* friendly school  Eve was not writing a play about EVERY WOMAN’s experience.  She wrote a play based on a few interviews she had with a few women, about their vagina’s, over 16 years ago. And Arquette, by the way, has a trans* sister, so I’m quite certain she doesn’t believe that LGBT rights are all set.

Everyone needs to just fucking relax.  Fighting amongst ourselves about whether we have included EVERYONE in what we just said will not get us anywhere. Not to mention, the right just eats this shit up.  I am reminded of a quote I had for years over my desk.  “Don’t scratch a sister because the system will do it for you.”  Patricia Arquette certainly got scratched.

Many of my friends and colleagues understand my obsession with Wonder Woman.  I collect all things Wonder Woman and obsessively rant about the lack of female superheroes in today’s media.  In fact, I wrote a play for my doctoral dissertation about the lack of female superheros.  There has not been a Wonder Woman movie.  I know, one is coming, one is coming, but I’m not holding my breath.   Catwoman has had one movie about her, and secondary parts in other Batman movies, but rarely does a tv show or movie feature a strong woman superhero.

Last night I watched the season premiere of Agent Carter. It’s 1946, men are back from war, and Agent Peggy Carter is now being pushed aside as the male agents of the SSR fight crime.  The sexism is rampant in the mostly male cast, but that’s the point.  It’s campy and vampy like a superhero show should be.

H. Shaw Williams critiques the show for not being feminist on Screen Rant.  While I agree with much of what she says, I don’t agree that the show isn’t feminist.  When I look around at how women are represented throughout our media, I will take any positive and powerful expression I can find.  And Agent Carter is that.  She is strong, powerful and smart.  And while it is an “old” story of “I’m just as good as the men” or “treat me like the boys,” it’s still a good message.  And it’s 1946, we have to remember, and the world was much different then.

H. Shaw Williams seems young.  I don’t know her or her writing, but for young women who don’t have any experience watching strong women kick butt and take names, this is a show to watch.  I agree there should be more women on the show and better representation, but we have to start somewhere and I think Marvel might have a beginning here.

Does this give me hope for 2015?  It does.  While the 81% male House of Representatives spends all its time trying to strip away my reproductive rights and any hope I have for social security, I can at least look to Marvel and think, there is the tiniest bit of hope in this dark woman hating universe.

As 2014 comes to a close, here are a few things that drive me nuts, Lewis Black style.

Recently I’ve seen two signs in neighborhoods that say “Drive Like Your Children Live Here.”  OK, I don’t have children.  How should I drive?  Batshit crazy?  How about “Follow the fucking law.”  Let’s not even bring children into the subject.  You should drive legally whether there are kids around or not.

Racism exists.  Excessive force by police exists.  End of story.  Defensive white people trouble me.

Women do not often report rape.  Women do not report rape and sexual harassment by powerful men until years later.  This is also real. The Washington Post did a great article on it here.

Women continue to be miss-represented in Hollywood and television and theatre.  As do people of color.  Don’t be offended, white man, when I speak the truth.  It’s not about YOU, it’s about a system of oppression and favoritism.   Support movies that are directed by women and tell women’s stories.  Pay attention to who is writing the story and who is directing it. Remember the Bechdel Test?

A movie production company talks bad about actors?  People think this is wrong?  They are actors.  They are picked based on their talent.  None of this shocks me.  And I don’t think any actor in Hollywood should be surprised by this.  Nor do I think email is some safe secret place where you can tell the truth.  It’s the fucking internet.

I live too far away from people I love very much.  Why hasn’t teleportation happened yet?  Seriously?

Conflict is part of the world in which we live.  There is no black and white.  There is almost always just gray.  I have colleagues and family members who think conflict should never be out in public.  I disagree.  Working through conflict is the best way to get to agreement, negotiation or at least the realization that we have two different opinions on a subject.  This saddens me.

I hate so many Christmas commercials that get played over and over again.  I can’t even listen to the Surface Pro commercial made to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland.  And I can’t even hear that song without seeing Christopher Walken in my head, since a friend posted it on Facebook.

And finally, Facebook.  Don’t air your dirty laundry there.  Be nice.  We don’t need to see you rant about your miserable life.  Your life is not miserable, clearly if you have a computer and have the leisure time to post on Facebook.  Educate, share love, share pictures of children and animals, start healthy debate on important subjects, but please don’t whine.  In memory of the late and great Dr. Sandra Hardy, my favorite acting teacher:  No Whining.

I promise to write something more sweet before the end of the year.

Happy New Year!

One day you’re living your life.  The next day, you get a phone call and BOOM!  everything changes.  You start driving to Boston to go to doctors and hospitals.  And then suddenly, this way of life is your life.

This is my “what tore me away from my blog” excuse for a month while the world was filled with Bill Cosby rape allegations, Ferguson, MO Grand Jury non-indictments, Staten Island Grand Jury non-indictments, and executive orders on immigration reform.  Racism and sexism continue unfettered regardless of how life interrupts.

My stepmother was diagnosed with a non Hodgkin mantle cell lymphoma.  We were immediately sent to a Dana Farber affiliate at St. Elizabeth’s hospital in Brighton.  The doctor knew what type of cancer it was just by looking at the cells.  I’m pretty impressed by her knowledge.  Now she is doing chemotherapy 2 back-to-back days a week a month.  And then we revisit plans A, B, and maybe C.

It’s also odd how something so scary, like cancer, can become so normalized in your life.  Just this Sunday morning, there was a fascinating story on Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong who believes cancer can become what we would call a “chronic disease” and is experimenting with different ways to treat it.

In the course of this month of cancer in the family, I’ve had some illuminating conversations with two of my favorite nurses (my best friend and my little sister) about cancer.  My sister has studied cancer as part of her work as an oncology nurse, but also in her studies for her NP.  She, herself a cancer survivor, believes that cancer is just a mutated gene and that the environmental (or hippie ideology, as she called it) is not quite on point.  Dr. Soon-Shiong believes it is cells that are unable to die as they should.  While I am in no way any kind of medical anything, I  feel like it is a mixture of all of these things.  And I say this partially because we do know that cancer is more common in certain geographic areas of the world.

My step-mother, for example, has a family history of cancer that would make you faint.  All these people grew up in small town in northern New Jersey.  There is definitely something genetic or geographic about this family’s connection to cancer.

It’s been years since I’ve spent 8+ hours at a time with my family, probably since high school.  That, in itself ,is a unique experience.  And one, that is in many ways, a gift.  My parents keep saying they have forgotten how funny I can be, as we are stuck staring at each other for hours in a hospital room.  And they seem impressed at the kind of questions I ask her doctors.

I guess, as parents, your child is always your child, even as an adult, so they are pleasantly surprised when I do “adult” things, like ask smart questions.  We’ve certainly been having some good laughs as we crawl, literally, in and out of Boston.  And we’re trying to live each day in the moment, in the present.  This has become sort of an inside joke but is still always a good lesson.  For anyone.

Even if life gets interrupted by something:  cancer, death, sickness, unemployment, we still have to live every day.  And that is what my family is being taught by this recent event.  Life was interrupted for a moment.  But we will continue to live it.  I will get back to blogging.  One moment at a time.

I’ve been away from my blog for a bit. Life interrupted my writing schedule. but I do so appreciate Mr Brewton’s take on this. More from my voice, soon!

It’s a mid term election.  There is, as usual, a Democrat and a Republican, neck and neck, and there are three Independent candidates with no chance.  I was told by a friend on Facebook last night that “a vote for an Independent is a vote for a Republican.”  If we continue to think this way, I believe, we will be forever stuck in this horrible two party system.  George Washington said “Beware of political parties, they will be your demise.”  See more about this here.

Martha Coakley/Steve Kerrigan running on the Democratic ticket.
Charles D. Baker/Karyn Polito  running on the Republican ticket.
Evan Falchuk/Angus Jennings   running on the United Independent Party.
Jeffrey McCormick/Tracy Post  running as Independents.
Scott Lively/Shelly Saunders running as Independents. They are crazy independents, I might add, who believe some whacky downright homophobic and anti-woman stuff.  Google them for a good laugh.  Seriously?

Falchuk is an interesting Independent.  He is affiliated with the United Independent Party. If Falchuk achieves more than 3 percent of the vote, the United Independent Party will gain recognition in Massachusetts. More than half of registered voters in Massachusetts are not affiliated with the Republican or Democratic parties.

Falchuk addresses the two-party problem in Massachusetts, but it can easily be applied across the country, in this article.

Most of my friends and colleagues probably think I would be all over having our first women elected to Governor (we have had a woman Governor, Jane Swift, but she was not elected, she was acting Governor when Paul Cellucci left to work for the Bush administration).  However, I don’t agree with Ms Coakley on a few issues that are important to me. And I’m continually concerned about voting for people with so much privilege that they can’t see the reality of so many people’s lives.

I owe my vote to Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, who starved themselves for the right to vote.  I doubt they would be pleased if I voted for a candidate because I don’t want a Republican to win, not because I believe in their views.  We need more of us to take a stand for a third party system and vote with our conscious not with a myth that pervades our democracy.

Alice Paul, author of the Equal Rights Amendment, and her friend, Lucy Burns.

This is so well put, by Eric Brewton, a blogger I follow for his progressive politics. Attention to the intersection between race and gender must be paid and when it’s not, it’s troubling and problematic.