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Monthly Archives: December 2014

Things That Get My Goat 2014

As 2014 comes to a close, here are a few things that drive me nuts, Lewis Black style.

Recently I’ve seen two signs in neighborhoods that say “Drive Like Your Children Live Here.”  OK, I don’t have children.  How should I drive?  Batshit crazy?  How about “Follow the fucking law.”  Let’s not even bring children into the subject.  You should drive legally whether there are kids around or not.

Racism exists.  Excessive force by police exists.  End of story.  Defensive white people trouble me.

Women do not often report rape.  Women do not report rape and sexual harassment by powerful men until years later.  This is also real. The Washington Post did a great article on it here.

Women continue to be miss-represented in Hollywood and television and theatre.  As do people of color.  Don’t be offended, white man, when I speak the truth.  It’s not about YOU, it’s about a system of oppression and favoritism.   Support movies that are directed by women and tell women’s stories.  Pay attention to who is writing the story and who is directing it. Remember the Bechdel Test?

A movie production company talks bad about actors?  People think this is wrong?  They are actors.  They are picked based on their talent.  None of this shocks me.  And I don’t think any actor in Hollywood should be surprised by this.  Nor do I think email is some safe secret place where you can tell the truth.  It’s the fucking internet.

I live too far away from people I love very much.  Why hasn’t teleportation happened yet?  Seriously?

Conflict is part of the world in which we live.  There is no black and white.  There is almost always just gray.  I have colleagues and family members who think conflict should never be out in public.  I disagree.  Working through conflict is the best way to get to agreement, negotiation or at least the realization that we have two different opinions on a subject.  This saddens me.

I hate so many Christmas commercials that get played over and over again.  I can’t even listen to the Surface Pro commercial made to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland.  And I can’t even hear that song without seeing Christopher Walken in my head, since a friend posted it on Facebook.


And finally, Facebook.  Don’t air your dirty laundry there.  Be nice.  We don’t need to see you rant about your miserable life.  Your life is not miserable, clearly if you have a computer and have the leisure time to post on Facebook.  Educate, share love, share pictures of children and animals, start healthy debate on important subjects, but please don’t whine.  In memory of the late and great Dr. Sandra Hardy, my favorite acting teacher:  No Whining.

I promise to write something more sweet before the end of the year.

Happy New Year!



Life Interrupted.

One day you’re living your life.  The next day, you get a phone call and BOOM!  everything changes.  You start driving to Boston to go to doctors and hospitals.  And then suddenly, this way of life is your life.

This is my “what tore me away from my blog” excuse for a month while the world was filled with Bill Cosby rape allegations, Ferguson, MO Grand Jury non-indictments, Staten Island Grand Jury non-indictments, and executive orders on immigration reform.  Racism and sexism continue unfettered regardless of how life interrupts.

My stepmother was diagnosed with a non Hodgkin mantle cell lymphoma.  We were immediately sent to a Dana Farber affiliate at St. Elizabeth’s hospital in Brighton.  The doctor knew what type of cancer it was just by looking at the cells.  I’m pretty impressed by her knowledge.  Now she is doing chemotherapy 2 back-to-back days a week a month.  And then we revisit plans A, B, and maybe C.

It’s also odd how something so scary, like cancer, can become so normalized in your life.  Just this Sunday morning, there was a fascinating story on Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong who believes cancer can become what we would call a “chronic disease” and is experimenting with different ways to treat it.

In the course of this month of cancer in the family, I’ve had some illuminating conversations with two of my favorite nurses (my best friend and my little sister) about cancer.  My sister has studied cancer as part of her work as an oncology nurse, but also in her studies for her NP.  She, herself a cancer survivor, believes that cancer is just a mutated gene and that the environmental (or hippie ideology, as she called it) is not quite on point.  Dr. Soon-Shiong believes it is cells that are unable to die as they should.  While I am in no way any kind of medical anything, I  feel like it is a mixture of all of these things.  And I say this partially because we do know that cancer is more common in certain geographic areas of the world.

My step-mother, for example, has a family history of cancer that would make you faint.  All these people grew up in small town in northern New Jersey.  There is definitely something genetic or geographic about this family’s connection to cancer.

It’s been years since I’ve spent 8+ hours at a time with my family, probably since high school.  That, in itself ,is a unique experience.  And one, that is in many ways, a gift.  My parents keep saying they have forgotten how funny I can be, as we are stuck staring at each other for hours in a hospital room.  And they seem impressed at the kind of questions I ask her doctors.

I guess, as parents, your child is always your child, even as an adult, so they are pleasantly surprised when I do “adult” things, like ask smart questions.  We’ve certainly been having some good laughs as we crawl, literally, in and out of Boston.  And we’re trying to live each day in the moment, in the present.  This has become sort of an inside joke but is still always a good lesson.  For anyone.

Even if life gets interrupted by something:  cancer, death, sickness, unemployment, we still have to live every day.  And that is what my family is being taught by this recent event.  Life was interrupted for a moment.  But we will continue to live it.  I will get back to blogging.  One moment at a time.10690317_10100546096600246_5056555251769015208_n

The Politics Surrounding Bill Cosby

I’ve been away from my blog for a bit. Life interrupted my writing schedule. but I do so appreciate Mr Brewton’s take on this. More from my voice, soon!

my feminist praxis

critical reflections on my feminist praxis: activism, motherhood, and life

The Feminist Critic

Providing weekly critiques of theatre, film, books, politics and pop culture from a feminist perspective.